We’ll be at Brazen Betties Indie Craft Fair & Food Drive today at 47 Main Street in Torrington from 3:00 pm until 7:30 pm
It is, coincidentally, the start of Month and a Half, the crew’s favorite holiday.
What’s Month and a Half ?
It’s a secular, interstellar holiday marked by a period of frivolity and good cheer most usually commencing within the later quarter of any given solar cycle. The start of Month and a Half is a measurable phenomena, occurring at a precise moment in time, most frequently observed as social networks convene in generally celebratory dispositions in the waning light of an approaching solstice.
The most common symbol of Month and a Half is the door. The door must be a found object. This act commemorates the moment of inspiration when the first Month and a Half was celebrated.
The First Door
The first door presented itself in the refuse area of a Miami Beach condo building. The door was collected and brought inside where it stood propped up against a wall for a long while. Then, quite spontaneously, the door was decorated. Things were glued and nailed and tacked and hung upon the door until it stood as a beacon, calling to those who gazed upon it. One evening, during a gathering of friends, a guest in quite good cheer and taken with the door, knocked on it. A hush rippled through the room as the guest inquired of those gathered, “Has Month and a Half begun?” “Yes!”, was the resounding reply.
A period of delight ensued and continued well into the new year !
Month and a Half and General Relativity
As a secular, interstellar holiday, the properties of celebratory physics apply, thus invoking the principles of Relativity. Examples best demonstrate relativity.
For some, Month and a Half occurs randomly and sometimes not at all. The crew once went two years without the occurrence of a Month and a Half ! Month and a Half begins only when ALL gathered about the door unanimously agree that it has, in fact, begun. The hesitance of even one person delays commencement. Only one knock may be attempted per twenty-four hour period. However, naysayers may be overridden, if subject network, ahead of time and preemptively, decides that certain individual’s feelings are to be dismissed when knocking occurs. It is best, but not compulsory to omit naysayers from gatherings during the potential onset of Month and a Half. The slang term “half-wit buzzkill” is often applied to these individuals.
There is no set size of the door. It may be of any type, even hypothetical. The only steadfast rule is that it be found and that no money be spent in its preparation. Be assured that once you start looking you will always find one. Once Month and a Half ends, bearing in mind that some Month and a Halves have lasted as long as four months, the door must be stored or hidden for someone else to find. No household shall display the same door ever again. Doors may be traded, but only in July. Keep in mind that it is considered poor form to acquire and display a ready to go door and has been said to result in bad luck. Supplementing the decoration of a previously displayed door minimizes the bad luck potential as long as a ritual is performed upon completion. This ritual has no strict rules other than to be preceded by an earnest meeting of the principal parties housed at the display location to determine the realistic odds of its success. If a pickled egg is eaten by even one of the attendees during the meeting, the odds increase by five percent, but only if the egg is not the last one in the jar.
Traditional Month and Half Victuals
Examples of appropriate fare include cheese, bourbon, wines of recent vintage, fowl, roasted pork, chocolate, punches, cakes, pies, large ribbed roasts of beef, cookies no larger than two inches, salted cod, lambics, ales, haggis, fondue, fresh sausages, foods of Caribbean origin, etc.
Inappropriate examples would include canned Vienna Sausages, reptiles, pizza with pineapple, primavera anything, sea cucumber, etc.
If any questions arise as to how to effectively celebrate this wondrous time, please direct them to us and we will happily provide advice.
Wishing you a Merry Month and a Half !
